


Miss McCoy

by sungabraverday



Series: not just a footnote in someone else's story [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Growing Up, Implied Kirk/McCoy - Freeform, Mentor!Enterprise Crew, Name Changes, POV Second Person, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 23:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/906146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungabraverday/pseuds/sungabraverday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are aiming for the stars, and you know that. With your father already among them, how could you be aiming for anywhere else? And with who you are, how could any one doubt that you'll get there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miss McCoy

You are five and three-quarters when Mommy tells you to pack your bag because you're going to Grandma's. Daddy won't be there, and it's confusing and it's scary, but you do what she says, because it's Mommy and you love her.

 

You are six and a quarter when the divorce papers go through, and you kick and scream because it's not your problem but you feel punished for it. You love Mommy but you love Daddy too and he is angry and you just want to curl up in his lap and tell him it's alright, have him tell you that it's alright. But Mommy says you can't and you want it. No one has ever been able to hold you like Daddy can. So you scream and you cry and you miss four days of school as she tries to handle it.

 

You are six and a half when Daddy gets on a shuttle and leaves Atlanta. You cry for hours, and nothing anyone says or does can change it in the slightest. When you finally stop the tears, you're a shell for weeks.

 

You're eight when Mom marries again. She makes you take his last name, and suddenly you're supposed to be a Treadway, not a McCoy. You're supposed to call him Daddy, but you don't. You call him Dad. He's happy. 

Mom isn't. She wants to know why she's not Mommy anymore. You can't explain it in a way that she'll understand, but you know that it's because they're supposed to match now. And Daddy will always be Daddy, and that is just how it is.

You come up with "because Daddy is Daddy," and she purses her lips, and you almost cry because you just want everyone to be happy.

 

You are ten years old when Mom finally lets you see Daddy for the first time in three years. He's a hero now, she tells you, and you know he is because you saw it on the news. The Enterprise single-handedly survived an attack by a Romulan ship and saved Earth, and your Daddy was not only on board, but he saved Captain Pike's life too. They stick a camera and a microphone in front of his face and he tries not to growl, and you laugh, because it's your Daddy and that's just what he's like.

He comes to pick you up at school and it takes half an hour's worth of phone calls and grumbling before they'll let him take you home. And then finally, finally, he scoops you up in his arms and carries you away.

"Oof," he says, "You're getting heavy now, darlin'. Won't be able to do this much longer." You'll never ask him to again, but for now you just lean in closer and wrap your arms around his neck.

He takes you to Nana McCoy's, and she kicks up a fuss about both of you. You have some of the best food you've had in years and Daddy holds you for hours talking about space and San Francisco and Starfleet and medicine, even though you can't follow all of it, and he strokes your hair. It's much too early when he says you have to go home.

You see him a couple more times before he has to go, but he still has to go. You understand why this time, and it hurts less, but it still hurts. He gives you his comm line for Earth and for the Enterprise. This time, despite Mom's frowning, you'll be able to talk to him whenever you want, more or less.

 

You're twelve when he doesn't return your comm within a couple of days.

 

You're twelve when he comes home and clutches at you desperately, like his world is ending and he needs to know that you're still alive and well. You hug him back, and you stand there for nearly five minutes before you notice the figure in the background smiling at you both.

You break off the hug to ask, and the other man laughs. His eyes are bright and blue, and you know you like him even before your dad introduces him as his friend, Jim. Your eyes widen with recognition, and he laughs again.

"You're a smart cookie, aren't you?" he asks.

You nod grinning, and start telling Daddy and Jim how you're the best in your class at Math and Science and Andorian, and how you're taking classes in summer school so you'll be ahead when you get to high school. They both smile and lead you towards their rental car. When you get back to Nana McCoy's they help you with your homework, and you can tell they're both impressed because they aren't doing all that much helping. You've got this under control yourself.

 

You're thirteen when you first leave Georgia. The Enterprise is still grounded for repairs after the Khan incident (and you think you might not be supposed to know it's called that, so you don't say anything), so Daddy and Jim have persuaded Mom to let you go visit them for Spring Break. Mom doesn't want to let you, but they tell her it will be educational and promise to take good care of you, and finally she agrees. Jim comes to pick you up from Georgia by himself so that Daddy doesn't need to fly on the shuttle, because you both know how much he hates it. You hold his hand during take-off and landing, just for the physical contact, but you spend the whole time staring out the window, looking into space. It's remarkable in a way that it just isn't when you're lying on the grass looking up, and you want to be a part of it.

Daddy's there to greet you when you enter the terminal, and he bends down to kiss you on the forehead while you wrap your arms around him. Your classmates think touching your parents is dumb, but they don't have a Starfleet CMO for a dad, so they don't understand. Besides, they're in Georgia and you're in California, so who cares what they think?

You spend the week meeting Daddy's friends, and it's amazing.

There's Sulu, who shows you how a shuttle flies and takes you through a simulation beside him. It's much more intense than the shuttle ride there, and you love it. He seems pleased that you're not such a fraidy-cat as your Daddy, and offers to take you up again some time.

Scotty explains how a warp core works. You already know that it's to do with matter and anti-matter touching, but he explains the details of it and how it actually powers the starship. You can't follow all of it, but when you try to explain it to Daddy later, he waves you off. "I'm a doctor, not a warp core technician, darlin'. I don't need to know how it works." You pout, and he buys you an ice cream to compensate for his inability to understand engineering.

Spock tells you stories. You weren't sure what you was expecting from him, but you know that wasn't it. He tells you stories of Old Vulcan, and he teaches you some of the language. It's a lesson in culture, and you think you understand him a bit better when the day is done and Daddy comes to pick you up after his shift at Starfleet Medical. Daddy makes some snarky remarks and you roll your eyes at him, but you say goodbye to Spock in perfect Vulcan form, and you think you almost sees a glimmer of pride in Spock's eyes. When you look at Daddy you know you see it in his.

Nyota spends the entire day speaking to you in Andorian, except when she's teaching you rudimentary Orion and Klingon. They don't teach those languages at school, and you want to know, and while there's not enough time to learn a lot, you learn a bit, and your Andorian is smoother with the practice. She promises to comm you from deep space to teach you more when she can. You thank her in English, Andorian, Orion, Vulcan, and Klingon, and she grins and tells you that you're better than your dad at this. You judiciously don't pass that comment along.

Pavel doesn't know how to deal with you, and you think it's hilarious. You flirt with him to watch him blush, until he finally just hands you an equation and asks you to solve it. It takes you an hour, but you do it, and when you hand it to him with a grin of triumph he is clearly surprised. You laugh, and he pulls out another one and hands it to you. Now you know what to expect, you're faster, and you're done with it in half the time. He gives you harder ones, and you work your way through them steadily and determinedly, and it's not until the fifth one that you have to give up. "I couldn't do zis kind of arithmetic until I was fifteen," he says, "and zey said I was a whizz kid." You just grin, and he smiles and explains how to solve the function you struggled with, until you understand it completely, and when he hands you the next one, you solve it yourself.

Jim teaches you how to fight. You're pretty sure Daddy will have his skin for it, but he's a good teacher and it's useful stuff. He teaches you how to get yourself out of the worst sort of scrapes, and how to fight off someone bigger than you, which is pretty much everyone these days. It's sweaty and gross, but it's fun and you're not half bad at it. And you can tell it'll be useful. You only practice for a couple of hours before you collapse to the floor in a heap to keep your muscles from screaming bloody murder the next day. Jim ruffles your hair and you squawk in protest, and he laughs. You laugh too, and you both stop surprised when you realise that you laugh like him. And then you're both laughing again before you push yourself to your feet to get changed.

Daddy has to work, but he comes home each afternoon to spend time with you. He shows you around the Academy and around San Francisco, and you fall in love. Atlanta's got hustle and bustle, but the life in San Francisco is different. It's more varied, more fantastic, and the languages roll over your ears and you catalogue them and start planning your return. 

When you go home, your teacher for Andorian wants a report on what you did over Spring Break. Yours is 500 words too long, and you've already trimmed out the complexities of warp core mechanics and Vulcan culture to bring it down. You have to entirely cut out sparring with Jim and mathematics with Pavel to get it under control. You get 100% on the written portion, and when you are asked to read it out to the class, you read the full version and get 110%. You're at a different pace from the rest of them, so you get shoved into a side room for private study because your tenses are outstripping the rest of the class. You study Orion in them instead, and by the end of the year you're conversational in that language too, and you're still ahead in Andorian. 

 

You're still thirteen, and three days after you finish middle school, Mom and Dad throw you a party for graduating top of your class. You invite the crew of the Enterprise, Sulu and Pavel and Scotty and Spock and Nyota and Jim and Daddy, and they all come with best wishes. You invite your classmates too, the ones you like, but not many come. You're not very popular, but you don't let it bother you. You'll be testing up in half your classes and will hardly have to spend time with them anyway. You talk with them, and you talk with the Enterprise crew, and everyone is undoubtedly there for you because you can tell that it's uneasy between the groups. You pretend it's a diplomatic mission and by the end of the night you've even made Mom and Daddy talk civilly, and you consider it a great success.

 

You're fourteen and you start calling Dad Clay, and though he and Mom look disappointed, neither is surprised.

 

You're fourteen and your classmates start calling you a nerd and blocking you out. Your only friends are in the Engineering Club and the Xenolingusitics Club, and they're the nerdiest kids in school but you're happy with them. Some of them are seniors and headed for Starfleet the day they graduate, and you make them swear to comm you often. Your dad's off-planet again, this time on a five year mission, and you comm him and the rest of the crew a lot. Mom seems disappointed again, like she wishes you were more like her, but she doesn't say anything. You're working hard, but you're still having fun, so she's got no cause for concern.

 

You're fifteen when you start dating. He's two years older than you, but he's sweet and he's smart, and you like him. You go on three dates with him before you figure out that he's trying to use you to connect with the Enterprise crew. You dump him after that, and cry at your mom because how can boys be so cruel? When she can't answer satisfactorily, you cry at Nyota during your tutoring session, until she distracts you with stories of the asshole guys of her past (in Klingon, of course, because it is still a tutoring session).

When your dad next comms you're fine, but he's a dark storm cloud of rage against whoever hurt his little girl. You laugh it off, because really, you're fine now, and you've learned. "I'm not going to let anyone use me," you tell him. "I'm worth more than that." 

He nods darkly, and you smile reassuringly. "Trust me! I've sworn off boys, anyway. They're dumb," you tell him, and when he laughs you know he'll be okay.

 

You’re fifteen years old when you accidentally let it slip that you're planning on following your dad into space. Mom doesn't talk to you for days, but you can't bring yourself to regret it, because you are. 

 

The day you turn sixteen, you wake up to two cars on the driveway. Both of them are yours, because apparently your parents can't talk about anything. You know you don't need two cars, but picking either one will show favouritism, and you don't need to annoy either one of your parents when you have plans, and they've just given you the boost you need to get it done.

The one from Daddy (and Jim, you're sure, because you've heard him talk about antique cars) is a fixer-upper, an old-fashioned thing with curves and features that they just don't make any more. She's dented and the paint is chipped and the motor chokes and gasps. She'll need time and love and attention. They've given you a fund to fix her too, and even though Mom frowns, she's perfect. You call her Jules, because she's a diamond in the rough, and you know that your dad and Jim knew it when they found her.

The one from Mom and Clay is brand new, shiny and red. It's exquisite, and it's fast and it's small and it's safe. You tell her how much you love it, and you name it Ruby.

You learn to drive on Ruby, and get to work on Jules. Some of the kids from Engineering Club to come and help you out, and by the time you're done with her, she's far and away the better car. You get her painted Science Blue, and she's gorgeous. You drive them both, so no one feels bad, but one is nice and the other is your baby, and everyone knows the difference.

 

You're sixteen and you test out of so many classes that you're a senior in your junior year. You start applying for colleges, because that's what comes next. You apply to the local schools and to the best schools, one because it's what you want, and the other because it's what your mother wants. There's a few in Atlanta, and a few more up the East Coast, but you apply to Stanford and Berkeley too, and cross your fingers. You want to apply to Starfleet Academy, but you don't dare to do it while you're still underage, because you know Mom will never allow it, so you're just going to have to wait. That doesn't mean you have to wait to get to California.

You get into both, and lest anyone accuse you of riding your father's success, you didn't mention him at all in your application, and you're still stuck with the Treadway last name, for now. It's your own success. And okay, you may have had subspace tutors from the Starfleet flagship that taught you more than school did, and maybe that's an unfair advantage, but it was still you, your hard work and your determination, and you're proud of yourself. 

You look your Mom in the eye and tell her you're moving to California on a full-ride scholarship. You don't say that there is nothing she can do to stop you, but there isn't. Fortunately, she doesn't try.

 

You're seventeen and the day after your high school graduation - and you're still top of the class, even if you're younger than the rest of them - you take the little red car from Mom and Clay and take it to the dealership. You call out all the bullshit they try to give you and get a good price for it. You pack up your life into a series of cardboard boxes and tell Mom and Clay to ship them to you for September. You give them your address, grab your comm and the few bags you'll need for the next two months, and hop into your car. 

"Let's go on an adventure, Jules," you whisper, and pull out of the driveway. You don't look back.

 

You're seventeen, fueled by the exhilaration of the open road and two months without expectations, and you’re free. You end up in Riverside, Iowa, just because you can, and sit in your car outside the shipyards looking up at the new starship illuminated against the night sky. She's beautiful, sleek lines and glowing chrome, and god you want into a starship already. 

When you pull into the only diner in town and wander in to get a cheap burger before you find a place to bunk down for the night, a woman waves you over, and you go over to her. She's got to be about fifty, maybe sixty, with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes and she reminds you of someone. It takes you a moment to place it, and as you slide into the booth across from her, you say, "Mrs. Kirk, right?"

Her eyes widen and you realise she didn't recognise you, just saw a lonely soul and offered a seat. "Joanna McCoy," you offer, by way of explanation, letting your Georgian accent swirl stronger than usual. 

She smiles then, a genuine one, and you're pretty sure she gets it now. "Well, Miss McCoy, what brings you to Riverside in the middle of the summer?"

"Pursuit of adventure and a drive to California," you say, and she laughs. It's just like Jim, and you laugh too. 

You place your order with the waitress, and you get on first name basis with Winona. It's so easy and natural that you half forget that you've never met before. It's easy enough to slip into talk of Starfleet and space, and she's almost as good as Jim at storytelling. She talks about all kinds of things, and you tell her about your road trip. She never mentions Jim and you never mention your dad, and it might just be another random diner conversation - you've had more than a few at this point - but you trust her.

She offers to let you stay the night at her place, and shyly you accept. You drive her back to her place in Jules, and you let her comment on how lovely your darling is and how lucky you are to have an antique in such gorgeous condition before you tell her that you fixed her up yourself. Winona's clearly impressed, and she tells you how she once had to create a new model for the shuttles, and how impressed everyone had been that she was a girl and could do that. "Don't ever let them be surprised," she tells you, and you shrug.

"Let them be surprised. I know what I can do, and that's the important part."

She smiles and hands you some sheets for the spare room, and you bunk down for the night in a room you think was probably Jim's once.

You get up early the next morning to make breakfast for her before she gets up, eggs and toast and coffee, and it's an easy enough gesture of gratitude. It turns out that she's up before you, for the cows and the chickens, but she's thrilled to find breakfast when she gets in. She invites you up to her office and starts up a subspace link. You make to leave, and she waves you back. "I think I know someone who'd be delighted to see you," she says with a smile that's borderline cheeky, and the link opens up to Nyota, and you hold your finger up to ask her silently not to spill the secret, while Winona pretends that she's the only one there. Her eyes widen slightly, and she smiles and nods before putting you through to the Captain's ready room. The call over the PA is obvious from there, just for Jim, but you're pretty sure she's comming your dad up to the bridge under entirely unrelated pretences. 

Jim walks into his ready room with tension in his forehead. When he sees his mother it doesn't . "Hi, Mom, what's up?" he asks.

She grins. "There's someone I'd like you to meet," she says, and you step out of the background and grin.

His face is picture perfect as you practically chirp out, "Hi Jim!"

You glance sideways quickly at Winona and she's grinning too. Jim just opens the room door, and shouts "Uhura!"

Nyota wanders in, followed by Sulu and Spock, who have already been let in on the secret. Sulu's grinning, and Spock's face is as clear as ever. You greet them all perfectly in their languages of preference. Nyota returns it in Andorian, and you reply in the same, back and forth in five languages before she calls it a day. "Not bad. Especially considering Iowa’s not much of a place to practice."

You blush. "I got some use from it in New York and Chicago, but yeah, a little rusty." And alright, you admit it, you might be showing off, but it doesn't matter because right then Daddy walks in grumbling about how they just can’t stay put until he looks up at the screen. 

You hadn't realised how much you missed him until right that moment, because you're pretty sure that's a tear in your eye. "Hi Daddy," you say, voice softer. 

"Joanna," he says, and then, as if only just realising that there are other people there, his voice goes gruffer. "Winona, nice to see you. Care to explain how you ended up with my daughter?"

And she just laughs, and then you laugh, and Sulu and Spock and Nyota slip back out the door with a wave, and then you start talking. It's about a half hour later, when you're recounting how driving Jules feels like heaven that Scotty sneaks in the back, followed by Sulu and Pavel. You wave, and keep talking, and you can see Scotty and Sulu grinning because you talk about Jules the way they talk about the Enterprise, and it's great just to see them again.

Ten minutes after that, Nyota ducks back in with Spock, and you know your time is up. But it was an awesome surprise for them all, and you can tell they're grateful for the distraction. You say goodbye to them all, one by one, and they leave until finally it's just you and Daddy. It's not until then that you realise that Winona's left too, and you almost feel bad about that but you think she had it planned this way the whole time. 

"Love you, Daddy," you say, and blow a kiss at the camera. He mimes catching it, and blows you one too. You catch his just as he says, "love you too, darlin'." You smile at each other for a moment, and then he terminates the connection.

When you wander back downstairs, Winona's sitting on the porch with a new cup of coffee. "Good chat then?" she asks, and you nod.

"It was wonderful. Thank you," you say, and there are tears sparkling in your eyes with how forcefully you mean it.

"Good," she says, with a smile that's tinged with just a hint of regret. "Now, how'd you like to stay here for the next two weeks? I know you have to go to California for September, but two weeks should leave you plenty of time, and there's not all that much between here and there. Food and board if you help out around the farm."

You look at her face closely, and it's sincere. You know she wouldn't offer this to just anyone, and you like her. She's good as family, as far as you're concerned, and you don't hesitate. "Yes," you say, "I'd love that."

 

You're seventeen and you show up in Berkeley with sun-bleached hair and the weight of Georgia well behind you. Berkeley is exactly what you had hoped for, and you make friends fast. You join the Xenolinguistics Club and the Future of Starfleet Society and the Extraterrestrial Aid Society, and they're all your kind of people. They're just as smart as you, and for the first time in your life, you're fighting to stay at the top of the class. You don't know why this surprises you, because you're taking upper level languages and a slew of science courses, and none of it is easy. If you stay over the summer, you can complete it in three years. You plan to, even though your mom would like to see you home, and Winona's offered to put you up whenever you'd like to get away.

The only catch is that you have to specialise, and for the first time in your life, you don't know what you want. 

You could follow Uhura into communications, and you would be brilliant at it. She's made sure of that. You could become a warp core technician, because you understand how the thing works better than most of the first years studying the stuff as it is, thanks to Scotty, but that's not really what you want. You don't think you want to be a pilot, and though the mathematics of physics is fascinating, navigator or science officer just isn't really going to do it for you either, because all of it is interesting, but none of it is quite interesting enough. You could see yourself as a doctor though, following in your father's footsteps, and the science of the body is fascinating and wanting to help people is in your blood. But you can see yourself in the Captain's chair in your mind's eye too, and that's tempting.

You double major in xenolinguistics and physiology, with minors in extraterrestrial relations and physics. You're just postponing the inevitable, and you know it, but you can't deal with the pressure of that right now. You'll talk to your dad when he's back earthside. He'll know how to help you figure it out properly.

 

You're eighteen, and you have a bundle of paperwork waiting on your desk. You call in notes from all of your classes and rearrange your lab sections to clear your schedule for the day, and you go to City Hall to reclaim the name you lost a long time ago.

You've booked the appointment weeks in advance and have everything ready, double-checked and in triplicate. You hand over the papers; they sign off on them; it’s easy. "Thank you for all your help," you say.

"Best of luck, Miss McCoy," they say, and it's nice to have reality line up with how you think of yourself again. You take Jules out for the rest of the day, because as far as you’re concerned, it’s your birthday and you’re Joanna fucking McCoy again and you deserve it. 

 

You're eighteen, and you land yourself a spot on an extraterrestrial aid mission over Christmas Break, and you go to Cerberus to help distribute food aid from Earth for the colonists. It's an experience you'll never forget, seeing the children starving and waiting for help that really only came because one rich philanthropist cared enough. 

You keep your emotions under control as you nurse some of the weakest children back to health, but it breaks your heart when one baby dies anyway. You wish you could have saved her, and you wish you knew what could have tipped the balance. And the loss is overwhelming in the air, and after a while in the hospital, you go and help dig the graves. It's back-breaking and gut-wrenching, but you do it anyway. This is what loss feels like, and you know that whatever you do, you'll feel it again. 

When it's time for you and the other students from Terra to go home, the Cerberus colonists host a celebration. You feel a bit funny about that, but when you get there, you realise that it's exactly what you all needed. It's no more food than your usual dinner, but there are flowers and music, and it's a reminder that yes, there's loss, but life goes on too, and you'll all make it through. Thanking your hosts is easy, and you pass on your comm details and promise to keep in touch.

You go back to Berkeley more sober and more determined than ever to make a difference. 

 

You're nineteen when your dad shows up, beamed down to your dorm room, and you shriek and throw your arms around him and squeeze, and he wraps his arms around you, and he's older, and you can tell, but he's home and he's yours and you can't bring yourself to care. 

He has to go back up soon, isn't technically supposed to be there anyway, but he holds out his hand to you and offers to take you up too. 

You'd be a fool to say no, so you comm someone in your next class, beg notes off of them, and beam up.

Scotty and Jim are waiting in the transporter room, and Jim greets you with a hug, and pulls you around to show you his baby. The Enterprise is gorgeous, and anyone would be a fool to deny it. And Jim is like a kid in a candy shop, constantly distracted by something else he wants to show you, someone else he wants you to meet. Daddy follows along, watching you and Jim as you chase after some intangible thing that is the essential Enterprise experience.

Scotty beams you down just in time for your second class, and you have to borrow a PADD off someone to take notes, but it is so absolutely worth it. You saw your Daddy weeks before you expected to; you went on a starship - no, you went on the fucking USS Enterprise, and there are so many rules that that was breaking that you're pretty much humming with adrenaline from the experience.

More than anything else though, now you know what you want. Because as much as you love your father, and as much as you admire everything he does and believes in, you want to be Jim, Captain of the starship, knowing all her secrets and all her people. You want to stand for the Federation and its values, face down danger and prevail, and you want to know everything that the galaxy has to offer. You want that, and if you know you want it, then you can take it.

 

You're nineteen, due to graduate Berkeley with a double degree in just three years, and you apply to Starfleet. Command track. Your father's in space, your mother's in Georgia, and you are by yourself when you hand it to the recruiter. She glances at the name and smiles too brightly. "You can't just ride into Starfleet on your name and expect to succeed, Miss McCoy."

"My qualifications speak for themselves," you say coolly. You know it's true, and as she flips through the perfectly completed paperwork, the recruiter sees it too. 

"I'll be looking forward to seeing you in Starfleet," she says then, and you smile and walk away, leaving the doubt behind you. 

 

You're twenty, and you're standing on the quad of Starfleet Academy in your cadet reds, and you're finally where you were always meant to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Infinite thanks to Megan for telling me that yes, it could end there, for betaing, and for giving me Joanna McCoy feelings in the first place!


End file.
